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  • Published: 4 June 2024
  • ISBN: 9781804992227
  • Imprint: Penguin
  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 320
  • RRP: $24.99

Abroad in Japan

Extract

I was sitting in the corner of one the cavernous rooms at the Japanese embassy in Mayfair, London. The room was impressive, with a golden chandelier dangling from the ceiling and a lavish red carpet, but it was practically empty, giving me nothing to distract me from my mounting nerves. The only furniture was a table, on top of which sat a clipboard holding the results of the English grammar test I’d just completed. It took all my selfcontrol not to sneak a peek.

There are few things in life more nerve-racking than a job interview for a role you desperately want. After a five-minute eternity, the towering oak doors opposite me swung open and one of the embassy staff ushered me into an equally imposing room, motioning me towards a single chair facing a long table and two unimpressed interviewers.

I’d been anxiously awaiting this moment for three years, and in the next few minutes the polite but seemingly emotionless middle-aged Japanese man and a somewhat sterner-looking British guy – an alumnus of the programme I was hoping to gain a place on – would determine my fate. The whole set- up had something of a goodcop/bad-cop vibe, which didn’t do much to quell my nerves.

In 1987, the Japanese government launched an initiative to place native English speakers in schools throughout the country in a bid to improve English-language proficiency and encourage grassroots internationalization. In the two decades since, the JET scheme had become the largest exchange teaching programme in the world, with over fi ve thousand participants a year from fifty-seven countries.

For me, this was my sweet ticket to a spectacular adventure on the far side of the world. Now, having made it successfully through a rather lengthy written application process, all I had to do was overcome this final hurdle.

I’d obsessively researched the interviews online and discovered from past applicants that the secret to success was to be overly positive. The perfect foreign teacher should come across as genki (元気) at all times. This commonly used Japanese word means ‘energetic’ or ‘lively’, two words that have never been used to describe me, so it was with great difficulty that I forced a creaking smile for the duration of the thirty-minute interview.

‘How is your Japanese?’ asked the British alumnus, skimming his pen across my application form.

‘No.’ I replied, and instantly cringed at my awkward reply. ‘Er, sorry . . . I mean, not no. But not good. I absolutely plan to learn if I’m lucky enough to get the job.’

Then the Japanese interviewer, who’d been flipping through his copy of my application, let out a chuckle when he arrived at the page with my preferred location choices.

‘So, in your application for your preferred locations, you’ve written that you’d like to live either in the countryside or in Kobe. Could you explain why?’

It was common knowledge that the quickest way to fail a JET interview was to ask to be placed in Tokyo. There are very few positions in the scheme available in the densely populated capital, and unless you have a clear reason to be there it comes across as a lazy or ill-informed choice.

‘The truth is, I’d be happy living anywhere in the countryside. I like the idea of playing a bigger part in a smaller community. You could put me in a cave in Hokkaido and I’d be delighted.’

The room fell silent, and I realized that my cave comment had been taken at face value. The interviewers exchanged puzzled looks before pressing on.

‘But why Kobe?’

I had been quietly dreading being asked this question. The reasoning behind me choosing Kobe was pretty poor. I’d spent a few days exploring Japan on Google Maps and concluded that Kobe was perfectly positioned between Kyoto and Osaka, two cities that intrigued me, close to each other yet stark contrasts between traditional and modern. Beyond that, Kobe was home to the world-famous marbled Kobe beef. I’d foolishly assumed this legendary meat must be cheap and easily accessible to the residents of Kobe, and so, to me, it would make sense to live there.

‘Well, honestly, the beef looks bloody good around there.’

Anticipating another wave of silence, I was relieved to hear both interviewers break into laughter.

‘Good thinking!’ said the Japanese interviewer. ‘Kobe beef is very delicious indeed.’

I’d dodged a bullet, but I knew I wasn’t off the hook just yet. There was one last thing I was dreading being called up on. On my application form I’d remarked that I’d read numerous books about Japan, citing one in particular, about wabi-sabi, a Buddhist philosophy and aesthetic that’s notoriously difficult to define.

‘Chris san, you say you’ve read about wabi-sabi. Would you be able to explain to us what it is?’

The best way to describe the concept of wabi-sabi (侘び寂び) is that it’s about embracing imperfections and appreciating the beauty in the incomplete or the imperfect. Often the most sought-after hand-made pottery in Japan are pieces that appear asymmetrical, simplistic or modest. This is an ideology very much at the core of Japanese living.

That would have been a fantastic answer.

Instead, I looked at the floor and mumbled, ‘Er . . . er . . . it’s like . . . well . . .’

The Japanese interviewer peered over his glasses intensely, and I realized that this was a make-or-break question. This was my chance to prove that I had the communication skills expected of a teacher.

‘Well, look, the thing about wabi-sabi is that it’s something that can’t simply be defined. It’s more of a feeling or an emotion than a clear, definable concept.’

What a load of shit.

Fortunately for me, his sense of humour had kicked in again.

‘Haha, yes. It certainly is a difficult thing to explain – I know what you mean!’ He chortled for a moment, then said, ‘Well then, that’s all for now. Thank you.’

It was over.

Stumbling out of the imposing building and across the road to Green Park tube station, I knew in my heart there was no way on earth I’d get that job.

However, somewhere amidst my disastrous replies, something must have worked. Perhaps it was my evocative description of wabi-sabi, or the sheer desperation of offering to live in a cave in Hokkaido, but twelve weeks later, to my utter shock and delight, I received a letter informing me that I’d been accepted. My life was about to take a sharp turn nearly 10,000 kilometres east, to a country I knew little about, for a job I felt woefully underprepared for.


Abroad in Japan Chris Broad

The hilarious number one bestselling memoir from YouTube sensation Chris Broad, a Brit trying assimilate into life in Japan as he unravels the wonders and eccentricities of one of the world's most mysterious cultures.

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