> Skip to content

Article  •  4 August 2020

 

See, face, replace

From Fear Less, psychologist Pippa Grange offers a process for identifying your fears.

Fear, argues psychologist Pippa Grange, makes us anxious, or shameful, or turns us into perfectionists. It makes us pretend to be someone else while aiming for a status that’s never truly satisfying. In Grange’s book, Fear Less, she reveals another way. A way to find our true voice, to win on our own terms.

Fear Less is not the usual kind of ‘self- help’ book. There are no quick fixes, and you won’t find a cure-all technique to apply to all your problems. ‘This book is a collection of ideas and experiences,’ writes Grange. ‘As you read about other people’s experiences, their stories and how they have overcome fear, my hope is that they will help you reimagine how fear plays out in your life, and what you can do or how you can change. Some particular moments, elements or pieces of other people’s jigsaw puzzles will chime with you, or feel like possible approaches to a particular situation that will work for you. I believe those deep moments of understanding stay with us far longer than trying to reshape our lives through a trick or a technique.’

For many of us, the fear of not being good enough obstructs our abilities to achieve our goals: our real, bottom-of-the-heart aspirations. All the big stuff. But what is it we’re really afraid of? And what impacts are these fears having on our lives? In the passage below, Grange introduces a three-step process to recognising the fears that are holding us back.

The fear of not being good enough can surface as a vague, faceless anxiety that you can’t explain or rationalise. It’s when something doesn’t feel right or doesn’t feel enough, even while life looks great on paper.

How to uncover your not-good-enough fears
How can we unearth the fears that are running our lives? I’ve found that if we can coax them out of hiding, we can then start to change them. This is a three-stage process that I’ve named See, Face, Replace.

1. See it
Before you try to solve anything, it’s important to see and name what it is that you’re fearful of. This goes beyond self-diagnosis, labels and other people’s opinions, as it’s about finding a way of getting familiar with your own fears, as well as their energy and texture. What does your fear look like to you? What does it feel like? Identifying and describing your fears is the first step towards dealing with them.

2. Face it
This is when you go inwards and look at how your fear is showing up in your life. What does it cost you? What does it add to your life? What does it cost other people?

3. Replace it
Finally, you replace your fear with something that gives you more strength and hope. This comes from reinterpreting and reimagining the stories that run you.


Fear Less Pippa Grange

The empowering new manifesto from the psychologist who transformed the England team - for fans of Brené Brown, Philippa Perry and Steve Peters

Buy now
Buy now

More features

See all
Article
Five tips for surviving year 12 exams

As year 12 students prepare for their exams, author of Atomic Habits, James Clear, has some simple tips that could help.

Article
Journalist’s haunting encounter at serial killer’s murder scene

When Garry Linnell stumbled across the grisly story of Frederick Deeming, he knew it was the one he wanted to tell.

Article
Dire prediction of ‘uninhabitable’ parts of Australia

Greg Mullins, former Commissioner of Fire and Rescue NSW, predicts parts of Australia will record 50C days in just decades to come.

Article
'Utterly broken': The Resilience Project co-founder’s powerful admission

Hugh van Cuylenburg was being interviewed on a national radio station when he surprised himself with an admission.

Article
Simple reading hacks for time-poor dads

Two authors — who are also dads — share their tips on how fathers can get a moment to themselves.

Article
The four hidden health benefits of reading

Reading offers us entertainment and a quick escape from reality, but did you know about these other hidden health benefits?

Article
The top books for dad this Father's Day

Show them you know them by picking a book that perfectly matches your dad.

Article
Five easy hacks to declutter your bookshelf

The top tips for sprucing your bookshelf during the annual spring clean.

Recipe
Sticky miso bananas with lime and toasted rice

This dessert ticks all our flavour boxes.

Recipe
Confit tandoori chickpeas

These chickpeas have had their fair share of Insta fame for a multitude of reasons.

Recipe
Apple, cheddar and clove galette

Freeform galettes are one of the easiest types of tart you can make – the dough is wonderfully forgiving.

Recipe
Tangerine dream cake

A pleasure to make, this cake is joyous served with a cup of tea.

Looking for more articles?

See all articles