> Skip to content

Article  •  4 August 2020


See, face, replace

From Fear Less, psychologist Pippa Grange offers a process for identifying your fears.

Fear, argues psychologist Pippa Grange, makes us anxious, or shameful, or turns us into perfectionists. It makes us pretend to be someone else while aiming for a status that’s never truly satisfying. In Grange’s book, Fear Less, she reveals another way. A way to find our true voice, to win on our own terms.

Fear Less is not the usual kind of ‘self- help’ book. There are no quick fixes, and you won’t find a cure-all technique to apply to all your problems. ‘This book is a collection of ideas and experiences,’ writes Grange. ‘As you read about other people’s experiences, their stories and how they have overcome fear, my hope is that they will help you reimagine how fear plays out in your life, and what you can do or how you can change. Some particular moments, elements or pieces of other people’s jigsaw puzzles will chime with you, or feel like possible approaches to a particular situation that will work for you. I believe those deep moments of understanding stay with us far longer than trying to reshape our lives through a trick or a technique.’

For many of us, the fear of not being good enough obstructs our abilities to achieve our goals: our real, bottom-of-the-heart aspirations. All the big stuff. But what is it we’re really afraid of? And what impacts are these fears having on our lives? In the passage below, Grange introduces a three-step process to recognising the fears that are holding us back.

The fear of not being good enough can surface as a vague, faceless anxiety that you can’t explain or rationalise. It’s when something doesn’t feel right or doesn’t feel enough, even while life looks great on paper.

How to uncover your not-good-enough fears
How can we unearth the fears that are running our lives? I’ve found that if we can coax them out of hiding, we can then start to change them. This is a three-stage process that I’ve named See, Face, Replace.

1. See it
Before you try to solve anything, it’s important to see and name what it is that you’re fearful of. This goes beyond self-diagnosis, labels and other people’s opinions, as it’s about finding a way of getting familiar with your own fears, as well as their energy and texture. What does your fear look like to you? What does it feel like? Identifying and describing your fears is the first step towards dealing with them.

2. Face it
This is when you go inwards and look at how your fear is showing up in your life. What does it cost you? What does it add to your life? What does it cost other people?

3. Replace it
Finally, you replace your fear with something that gives you more strength and hope. This comes from reinterpreting and reimagining the stories that run you.

Fear Less Pippa Grange

The empowering new manifesto from the psychologist who transformed the England team - for fans of Brené Brown, Philippa Perry and Steve Peters

Buy now
Buy now

More features

See all
Ready to change your life? This audiobook is the perfect place to start

10 reasons to listen to Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith.

5 tips for helping your child embrace discomfort

Help your kid accept tough times with this advice from Embrace Kids.

Time Wise shares 5 secrets of highly-effective people

Wondering what makes a person highly effective? These 5 secrets from Time Wise will give you some insight.

A doctor shares the key things you should know about histamine intolerance

What are the symptoms of a histamine intolerance? What even is a histamine intolerance? And how do you get rid of one? Dr Will Bulsiewicz breaks it down in The Fibre Fuelled Cookbook.

The easy breathing technique that will help reduce your anxiety

These five easy steps will teach you how to do square breathing for anxiety. Using this simple mindfulness tool can help lower your heart rate and curb anxious thoughts the moment they arise.

Find out the very best time to work, based on your chronotype

An easy tip from Time Wise to help maximise your productivity.

9 stars who are said to practice The Wim Hof Method

See Wim Hof's list of famous fans and try a breathing exercise from his book.

The Glucose Goddess’ number one trick for dessert without the sugar crash

If you love dessert but hate the sugar crash that follows, this trick is for you. Jessie Inchauspé – AKA The Glucose Goddess – shares her top tip for enjoying sweets, so you can have your cake and eat it too!

5 key ways to re-establish control of your body and mind after trauma

Bessel Van der Kolk provides some key guidance on how to reclaim your life after trauma in his insightful book, The Body Keeps the Score.

3 tips to help flatten your glucose curves

For most of us, energy peaks and troughs throughout the day are something we accept as part of life – but what if it didn’t have to be that way?

Five books to celebrate International Day of Happiness

Embrace your happiness with a list of books that will give you hope in a world facing unprecedented challenges.

Book clubs
Atlas of the Heart book club questions

Atlas of the Heart should be your next book club pick. A guide to mapping meaningful connection, this book is compelling, enlightening and ripe with discussion points.

Looking for more articles?

See all articles