Oliver James - leading psychologist and bestselling author of Affluenza - presents real-life interviews, fascinating research and clear guidance to ensure we don’t f *** up our under-threes
Are you confused by parenting advice from experts who contradict each other? Concerned about the possible effects of being a working mother? Terrified of turning into your own parents?
Parents today are overwhelmed with elaborate advice on how to raise babies. In How Not to F*** Them Up leading child psychologist Oliver James argues that it’s not our children that must be trained … it’s us.
Meticulously researched, inspiring and yet provocative, How Not to F*** Them Up raises important questions about the way in which we bring up our children: Do we, as a society, provide enough support for parents? How has the role of the father changed in recent years? Can a working mum ever reconcile her career with her family life?
Drawing on extensive interviews, James identifies three basic types of mum: the Hugger, the Organiser and the Fleximum. Outlining the benefits and pitfalls of each, James offers simple strategies to reconcile parents’ personal ambition and desire for a career with the needs of the family and maintaining a work/life balance.
By challenging our ingrained and often flawed beliefs, James shows us how our own childhood experiences can impact on our perception of ‘the family’, and how ultimately we can provide the happy, and stable, environment that all babies and toddlers need, regardless of our own upbringing.
“In a perfect world every parent would have a parenting masterclass before the baby arrives. This is the next best thing!”
“At last, something for the modern mother! A sane voice amid the shrill cacophony of childcare books”
“I agree with Oliver James. Caring for a baby or toddler is personal, because you have to tune in to the child's changing needs.”
Sue Palmer, The Times
“Unlike other books of this sort, How Not to F*** Them Up focuses on the wellbeing of the parent as a starting point for meeting the needs of the child... This is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, and is not afraid to admit his own frailties. As a result his theories come across not as condescension, but as advice from one fucked-up-person to another.”
Jake Wallis Simons, The Independent on Sunday
“Easily readable, liberating ... a book you can trust.”