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About the book
  • Published: 1 June 2011
  • ISBN: 9780091923938
  • Imprint: Vermilion
  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 384
  • RRP: $22.99
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How Not to F*** Them Up




Oliver James - leading psychologist and bestselling author of Affluenza - presents real-life interviews, fascinating research and clear guidance to ensure we don’t f *** up our under-threes

Are you confused by parenting advice from experts who contradict each other? Concerned about the possible effects of being a working mother? Terrified of turning into your own parents?

Parents today are overwhelmed with elaborate advice on how to raise babies. In How Not to F*** Them Up leading child psychologist Oliver James argues that it’s not our children that must be trained … it’s us.

Meticulously researched, inspiring and yet provocative, How Not to F*** Them Up raises important questions about the way in which we bring up our children: Do we, as a society, provide enough support for parents? How has the role of the father changed in recent years? Can a working mum ever reconcile her career with her family life?

Drawing on extensive interviews, James identifies three basic types of mum: the Hugger, the Organiser and the Fleximum. Outlining the benefits and pitfalls of each, James offers simple strategies to reconcile parents’ personal ambition and desire for a career with the needs of the family and maintaining a work/life balance.

By challenging our ingrained and often flawed beliefs, James shows us how our own childhood experiences can impact on our perception of ‘the family’, and how ultimately we can provide the happy, and stable, environment that all babies and toddlers need, regardless of our own upbringing.

  • Pub date: 1 June 2011
  • ISBN: 9780091923938
  • Imprint: Vermilion
  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 384
  • RRP: $22.99

About the Author

Oliver James

Oliver James trained and practised as a child clinical psychologist and, since 1988, has worked as a writer, journalist and television documentary producer and presenter. His books include Juvenile Violence in a Winner-Loser Culture, the bestselling They F*** You Up, Affluenza and Contented Dementia. He is a trustee of two children's charities: the National Family and Parenting Institute and Homestart.

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Praise for How Not to F*** Them Up

“In a perfect world every parent would have a parenting masterclass before the baby arrives. This is the next best thing!”

Arabella Weir

“At last, something for the modern mother! A sane voice amid the shrill cacophony of childcare books”

Imogen Edwards-Jones

“I agree with Oliver James. Caring for a baby or toddler is personal, because you have to tune in to the child's changing needs.”

Sue Palmer, The Times

“Unlike other books of this sort, How Not to F*** Them Up focuses on the wellbeing of the parent as a starting point for meeting the needs of the child... This is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, and is not afraid to admit his own frailties. As a result his theories come across not as condescension, but as advice from one fucked-up-person to another.”

Jake Wallis Simons, The Independent on Sunday

“Easily readable, liberating ... a book you can trust.”

The Independent


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