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Oliver James - leading psychologist and bestselling author of Affluenza - presents real-life interviews, fascinating research and clear guidance to ensure we don’t f *** up our under-threes

Are you confused by parenting advice from experts who contradict each other? Concerned about the possible effects of being a working mother? Terrified of turning into your own parents?

Parents today are overwhelmed with elaborate advice on how to raise babies. In How Not to F*** Them Up leading child psychologist Oliver James argues that it’s not our children that must be trained … it’s us.

Meticulously researched, inspiring and yet provocative, How Not to F*** Them Up raises important questions about the way in which we bring up our children: Do we, as a society, provide enough support for parents? How has the role of the father changed in recent years? Can a working mum ever reconcile her career with her family life?

Drawing on extensive interviews, James identifies three basic types of mum: the Hugger, the Organiser and the Fleximum. Outlining the benefits and pitfalls of each, James offers simple strategies to reconcile parents’ personal ambition and desire for a career with the needs of the family and maintaining a work/life balance.

By challenging our ingrained and often flawed beliefs, James shows us how our own childhood experiences can impact on our perception of ‘the family’, and how ultimately we can provide the happy, and stable, environment that all babies and toddlers need, regardless of our own upbringing.

Reviews

In a perfect world every parent would have a parenting masterclass before the baby arrives. This is the next best thing!

Arabella Weir

At last, something for the modern mother! A sane voice amid the shrill cacophony of childcare books

Imogen Edwards-Jones

I agree with Oliver James. Caring for a baby or toddler is personal, because you have to tune in to the child's changing needs.

Sue Palmer, The Times

Unlike other books of this sort, How Not to F*** Them Up focuses on the wellbeing of the parent as a starting point for meeting the needs of the child... This is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, and is not afraid to admit his own frailties. As a result his theories come across not as condescension, but as advice from one fucked-up-person to another.

Jake Wallis Simons, The Independent on Sunday

Easily readable, liberating ... a book you can trust.

The Independent

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Formats & editions

  • Paperback

    9780091923938

    June 1, 2011

    Vermilion

    384 pages

    RRP $22.99

    Online retailers

    • Abbey's Bookshop
    • Angus & Robertson Bookworld
    • Booktopia
    • Boomerang Books
    • Collins Booksellers
    • Dymocks
    • Books Kinokuniya
    • The Nile
    • QBD
    • Readings
    • Robinsons Bookshop
    Or

    Find your local bookstore at booksellers.org.au

  • Trade Paperback

    9780091923921

    August 2, 2010

    Vermilion

    384 pages

    RRP $34.99

    Online retailers

    • Abbey's Bookshop
    • Angus & Robertson Bookworld
    • Booktopia
    • Boomerang Books
    • Collins Booksellers
    • Dymocks
    • Books Kinokuniya
    • The Nile
    • QBD
    • Readings
    • Robinsons Bookshop
    Or

    Find your local bookstore at booksellers.org.au

  • Hardback

    9780091923914

    June 15, 2010

    Vermilion

    384 pages

    RRP $45.00

    Online retailers

    • Abbey's Bookshop
    • Angus & Robertson Bookworld
    • Booktopia
    • Boomerang Books
    • Collins Booksellers
    • Dymocks
    • Books Kinokuniya
    • The Nile
    • QBD
    • Readings
    • Robinsons Bookshop
    Or

    Find your local bookstore at booksellers.org.au

  • EBook

    9781407080093

    August 2, 2010

    Ebury Digital

    384 pages

    Online retailers

    • iBooks
    • Amazon Kindle
    • Booktopia
    • eBooks
    • Google Play
    • Kobo

Also by Oliver James

Not In Your Genes
Office Politics
Contented Dementia
The Selfish Capitalist
Affluenza
Britain On The Couch

Recommendations

Grit
Baby-led Weaning
The Princess Bitchface Syndrome 2.0
The Power Of Positive Thinking
Ikigai
Braving The Wilderness
The Power of Moments
Thinking, Fast And Slow
Skin in the Game
The Body Keeps The Score
Quiet
A New Earth
How to be Human
Outliers
The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind
The Little Book of Lykke: Secrets of the World's Happiest People
Not In Your Genes
The Power of Meaning
The Popularity Illusion
Smarter Faster Better