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The fifth and final instalment of Martha Long's bestselling memoirs

Martha is now in her thirties. Her daughter has left home and she is lonely and vulnerable. The hard knocks have taken their toll on her health, and as she looks into the years still lying ahead of her, she shakes her head, feeling she hasn't the heart or the strength to go on.

As she teeters on the brink of a nervous breakdown, a phone call summons ghosts from the past. She discovers that one of the family is dead and the others need her help. Martha returns and when she comes face to face with the evil, psychotic Jackser, she can no longer suppress the nightmares of her childhood.

A suicide attempt sees her admitted to the 'mad house', where a hunger strike takes her even nearer to death. But finally she sees a chink of light at the end of the tunnel. Could love in an unexpected form pull her back from the brink?


Blunt, moving and laugh-out-loud funny

Irish World

Formats & editions

  • Paperback


    July 1, 2012

    Mainstream Publishing

    448 pages

    RRP $19.99

    Online retailers

    • Abbey's Bookshop
    • Amazon
    • Angus & Robertson Bookworld
    • Booktopia
    • Boomerang Books
    • Collins Booksellers
    • Dymocks
    • Books Kinokuniya
    • The Nile
    • QBD
    • Readings
    • Robinsons Bookshop

    Find your local bookstore at booksellers.org.au

  • EBook


    December 2, 2011

    Mainstream Digital

    448 pages

    Online retailers

    • iBooks
    • Amazon Kindle
    • Booktopia
    • eBooks
    • Google Play
    • Kobo

Also by Martha Long

Run, Lily, Run
Ma, Jackser's Dyin Alone
Ma, I've Reached for the Moon an I'm Hittin the Stars
Ma, Now I'm Goin Up in the World
Ma, It's a Cold Aul Night an I'm Lookin for a Bed
Ma, I'm Gettin Meself a New Mammy
Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes


Rather His Own Man
The Heart's Invisible Furies
Finding My Virginity
Lean In
The Boy Behind the Curtain
The Prisoner
There Is More
When Breath Becomes Air
Out of the Forest
The Motherhood
Lion: A Long Way Home
Miss Ex-Yugoslavia
Rising Strong
Young Hitler
The Year Everything Changed
The Sun Does Shine
Persepolis I & II