How to be an Ex-Footballer

However overpaid and preening you might assume Premier League footballers to be, think again. They're worse, according to this amusing insider's account

Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year

Who knew that a footballer could be funny? ... What you realise, as you laugh out loud, is that football has been taken too seriously by too many people for too long... Most other football books wither by comparison

Daily Mail Sports Book of the Year

As someone who's been there, done it and got the ill-fitting T-shirt, Crouch is well placed to shed light on the bizarre world of the modern player in a funny, down-to-earth way... He made his name on the pitch ... but with this book, Crouch proves he is a good sport off it, too

Jade Craddick, Sun

On his way to being a national treasure... most enjoyable

Daily Telegraph

The funniest man in British sport

Metro

Peter Crouch is a comedy genius

Daily Mail

One of the funniest human beings on the planet

Romesh Ranganathan

Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player

Sunday Times

I'm not a big book reader, I'm just not. And I've skimmed through this already and thought 'I'm gonna really, really, really, really like this. Seriously, I'm really gonna like it

Chris Moyles

I've never read a sports book before, but it is really funny

Alex Jones

Good footballers come and go but comedy genius - that's for life

Johnny Vaughan

I've read a good number of books by footballers, both for business and pleasure, and this is easily one of the best, mainly on the grounds that it's incredibly funny

Ben Machell, The Times Magazine

One of the funniest books ever

Shortlist

Incredibly funny

Jilly Cooper

Endearing and very funny

Choice Magazine

Full of terrific anecdotes and unexpected confessions

Daily Express