- Published: 3 May 2022
- ISBN: 9781761046681
- Imprint: Ebury Australia
- Format: Trade Paperback
- Pages: 224
- RRP: $32.99
Three Minutes with Spirit: Australia’s #1 medium on TikTok
The probability of you
It’s close to a miracle in every sense of the word that you are holding this book in your hands. Why? Well, firstly, as my high school English teacher would point out, despite me failing all her classes, here I am with a finished piece of work! But it’s actually because of the expansive improbability it took to get you here to the first page. I’m talking about the fact that it takes a long sequence of microprocesses mostly unseen by the human eye for a human life – your life – to become manifest in this world.
Did you know that, according to author and performance coach Dr Ali Binazir, the probability of you coming into existence is 1 in 102,685,000? (And yes, that is a 10 multiplied to the power of 2,685,000!) In other words, it is practically nil. Put it this way: the likelihood of you buying a lottery ticket tomorrow and winning the first-division prize worth millions of dollars is higher than that of you having come into being as the specific person you are. And yet here you are, reading this sentence with eyeballs that have evolved over millions of years to read a written language which itself took centuries to develop before being introduced to you by your parents or caregivers (most likely with some help from the furry characters of Sesame Street). The rich tapestry of human life on our planet is the outcome of more than 3.5 billion years of evolutionary history. Humankind has been shaped by incredible forces such as changes in the planet’s crust, ice ages, huge fires and interaction among species. It continues to be shaped by these forces even now.
I know, my brain aches thinking about this stuff too – but it’s so important to zoom out sometimes to see the beauty of what we call life. And not just our own lives but life across our entire universe. The conditions that it takes not only to bring forth life but also to sustain it are mind-boggling, and science has merely scratched the surface of it.
This is why we see human life as immeasurably valuable. We as a species are uniquely preoccupied with our own preservation. It’s the reason we stop on the busy freeway to ensure that the woman in the car wreck is still alive; it’s why we rush to the old man who tripped over on the footpath to help stand him back up; and, finally, it’s why we mourn and grieve life when it eventually comes to an end.
But is it the end? Some of us are not satisfied with that abrupt, finite conclusion to life. Perhaps you have lost someone close to you, and have felt a greater knowing nestled somewhere within that says, This is not all there is. It can’t be. Surely this person who was such a significant part of my life can’t have vanished altogether. We invested many years, meals, tears, joys, pains and countless other worthwhile things with them during their lifetime. How could this simply be all that I get with them? Some of us feel compelled to search deeper to find the person who occupied what is now an empty space, a space once full of hugs, kisses, songs, laughter and other cherished memories.
This might be the very reason you decided to pick up this book over many others on the shelf: you somehow knew Spirit was calling out to you, wanting to deepen and rekindle your bonds to it.
An extraordinary cosmic dance
Isn’t it amazing to think that in your one life you will only meet a certain amount of people? You physically won’t be able to meet every person who is alive at the same time you are. In saying that, those who you do meet will have a great impact on you, leaving a memorable footprint etched into your soul and lasting love and admiration in your heart.
Take a moment to think of someone precious to you whom you’ve lost. Now consider all the events and circumstances that had to be aligned for you to have met in the first place. For a relative, you had to be born into the same family, within only a few generations of each other. For others, you had to be enrolled in the same school and had to have picked the same electives, or travelled on the same bus route, or been in the same workplace after having chosen to pursue similar careers, and so on. And you didn’t go from stranger to friend overnight: you invested time, energy and many other resources into weaving together the meaningful relationship that you are reflecting on now that they are crossed over.
The entire elaborate process of meeting, bonding, growing, learning and enjoying all facets of our lives with those we love is a beautiful and extraordinary cosmic dance. We can’t take for granted the little steps and larger catalysts at play that link us to other human beings every single day – especially to the ones who come to mean so much to us.
Some people will shrug off these links, labelling them as coincidences, nothing more than ‘the circle of life’. But when we pause and take a moment to reflect, we gain a deep sense of reverence towards the personal connections we have made with our loved ones. Then, rather than letting the memories and bond gradually dwindle after their passing, we have the opportunity to stoke the fire that is still burning over our coals of kinship and love.
Letting go of old ways of thinking
When something happens in life that we can’t explain, the temptation is to put a big red mental sticker on it that says ‘too hard’. It can feel taxing to think beyond the surface, as if you are exercising a muscle that doesn’t like to be worked. But I hope to show you that with a few small perspective shifts and a bit of practice, you can be linked to Spirit more than you have ever thought possible.
One of the first ways to do this is by stepping away from inflexible mindsets. That’s thought patterns such as ‘I already knew that’, ‘that’s a funny coincidence’, ‘what a bizarre moment’ or ‘that is a weird phenomenon’. This is often the very language that Spirit is using to communicate with us; we just need to be open to listening to it rather than immediately dismissing it. You were born into a world primed and ready to teach you how to walk, how to talk, how to ask for food; the universe is constantly finding ways to connect with you and provide lessons, wisdom and comfort. You coming into this world with absolutely nothing is exactly how the universe needed you right there and then. However, sometimes it’s how the universe needs us to be at other seasons too. When we open our minds and recognise Spirit, it will pop up in many unique ways.
But stepping out of these fixed mindsets is often easier said than done. For example, I attended a high school that offered philosophy as a subject to its younger students. I excelled greatly at it, and would fill notebook after notebook with thoughts that inspired or uplifted me. However, once I got to university to study mental health it became clear that to succeed in my degree I would be required to think analytically. As I delved deeper into the psychological sciences, I started to see the world from a linear and somewhat dry perspective that took me into a depressed state of mind. Eventually, those notebooks full of thoughts that had meant so much to me in high school found their way into the bin. I had come to think of them as scribbles on a page and nothing worthy or substantial. At that point in my life, the world seemed to be a place with no purpose – a joyless and lonely place to be.
It took a lot of unlearning (and relearning) to shake off this fixed, analytical mindset after university and return to a more open, philosophical state of mind. But what kept me going was my belief that I was not alone. Even though I learned about many of the spiritual concepts I hold today practically on my own, I always knew that I was never alone. I could always feel the presence of Spirit guiding me – even before I knew to call it Spirit. You aren’t made to meander through life with no support, help, guidance or direction.
An organising principle of Western society, where many of us live, is that we should fend for ourselves. From a young age we are taught to become unnecessarily, toxically independent. This principle shapes our world, our jobs, our finances and our love lives. It also could be seen as a potential catalyst for ongoing mental illness, unemployment, and homelessness. To move away from toxic independence can feel scary, as if you’re walking into the world with no plan. This is when it’s important to turn your requests to Spirit, to ask not only for their support but to bring people who can help into your life and your awareness.
Many non-Western cultures are not only extremely cooperative and work as collectives, but they also understand the concept that the universe never leaves us alone or forgets us. How do they know this? They consider it within themselves to offer prayers and hold ceremonies that constantly acknowledge their ancestors or deities. It’s a daily ritual and routine for them to constantly look beyond themselves for strength and guidance.
As popular American author and organisational consultant William Bridges said, ‘Before people can begin something new, they have to end what used to be and unlearn the old way.’ It’s harder to unlearn existing things than it is to learn new things, because of the brain’s tendency to imprint and maintain established ideas and thought patterns. But if we can open our minds to possibilities beyond what we already know and have experienced, and question some of the beliefs we have unnecessarily clung to, we can create space to let in Spirit and build a deeper connection to self.
There’s no such thing as a coincidence
After conducting more than a thousand psychic medium appointments with people from all over the globe, I am the first to insist that there is no such thing as a coincidence. You see, our loved ones and spirit guides have the ability and capacity to manipulate our world from afar in such a way that gets us to stop and think. And while their actions may initially seem like coincidences or happenstance, I have seen enough from my work to know that this isn’t the case. There is intention and meaning behind it all, and it is up to us to decide whether we want to look hard enough to find it.
Now and then a greater force comes into play, urging us to do something specific. Take the woman in the car wreck I mentioned earlier. Something ‘out there’ instilled in us the concern for human life that compelled us to take bold and risky action to rescue her. In circumstances like this, one improbability (her car accident) collides with another (us driving along the freeway at the same time that the accident occurred) to create an entire event that can easily be labelled a ‘coincidence’.
Any time two humans are left to interact is an opportunity for Spirit to provide much-needed guidance, lessons, wisdom or comfort. We are often quick to forget that events in which we play even the smallest part can have a far-reaching impact on people’s lives. It would be easy to dismiss the significance of your involvement in saving the woman from the car wreck by saying that anyone would have done it, or it’s just basic human decency, but there’s a reason you were in the right place at the right time. There’s a lesson there for you too.
In the busy lives that we lead today, a lot of us aren’t able to create time for spiritual connection. Often we are simply swept up and away into years (and sometimes decades) that disappear in the blink of an eye, all while our dearest loved ones are whispering messages to us that we miss because we aren’t present or open to receiving them. But almost daily I am given reason to believe I am being lovingly surveilled by not only loved ones existing beyond me but also by Source and spirit guides that are calculating how to align perfect moments to bring forth even the smallest gains or change for me. And it’s the same for you. It will likely go unnoticed by you directly but your spirit guides don’t mind. As long as you are involved, the project will work.
It seems absurd to reflect upon the miraculousness of own emergence into this world (remember how the probability was basically zero?), but then dismiss every event after that as some complicated equation of chance and circumstance and, without decoding it, toss it into the ‘coincidence’ bin.
I wonder how many ‘bizarre moments’ and ‘weird phenomena’ that have occurred in your life are piled up in your coincidence bin? If they were all closely examined, I’m sure you would be amazed to discover how many times it was actually Spirit or a loved one stepping briefly into your world to hold your attention for just a few seconds.
To understand Spirit, we must first understand ourselves
If we wish to connect to the realm of the Spirit, we need to begin by reflecting on ourselves. We play a vital role in the ongoing bond we have with those in the afterlife and it must start with us and our intentions. If you start with a chip on your shoulder, barge your way in and then shrink back into doubt, fear and uncertainty when nothing happens right away, that’s not the gold-standard approach! But if your intentions are pure and you deeply want to connect into Spirit, it will gradually respond more and more. Often, Spirit will do its best to reach out, but it also has to be our responsibility to work with it and remember that we aren’t the centre of this big world (although it’s easy to slip into that thinking, given the success-based, egocentric society we live in).
Have you ever thought about how over time we humans have expedited processes such as boiling water to make them happen in mere seconds? Or how we have halved the cooking time of the traditional Sunday roast by using special ovens? We as a species are obsessed with doing things sharper and faster, and as a result, the average attention span today is only around eight to fifteen seconds. That’s why platforms such as TikTok have boomed: people have less attention to give and need quicker gratification and higher dopamine dumps to their system than ever before.
But there is one process that has stood the test of time that nobody can speed up or slow down: gestation. Can you present to me a fully grown healthy baby in four months? No, you’d be crazy to promise that. What about a lazy baby that wants to be born after twelve months’ gestation? Absolutely not.
This universe doesn’t care about adapting to our fast-paced culture. Rather, each and every timestep in the universe is finely tuned. These are the domains in which our loved ones, spirit guides and Source move and have their being: in the dimension where nine months was set as the time of gestation on Earth for humans, the dimension that makes sure autumn, winter, spring and summer are spaced out correctly to ensure life-sustaining temperatures continue.
The dimensions that we often ignore or take for granted are the pockets of our mind that we will need to get a lot cosier with if we want to connect with Spirit or deepen our walk with it. Improbability made manifest is the universe’s way of showing off. Your entire emergence is an example of the beauty that this universe is not prepared to slow down in producing. It’s not a distant force that’s indifferent to us. Just like the innate cry of a child when it is hungry or a dog’s instinct to protect its owner, all these desires are highly calculated and placed there by Spirit – a higher force expressed through loved ones, Mother Nature and, of course, ‘coincidences’.
The reason why you seek your loved one is because you’re seeking a part of yourself. We see ourselves in animals because we are all Spirit; we connect deeply to art because it’s an expression of Spirit; and we read books written by other human beings because they’re an extension of the thoughts of Spirit. In every way, we are constantly and consistently taking steps to connect to this force.
So, are you ready to go deeper? Are you ready to link in with Spirit? It certainly wants to link in with you. Linking in with Spirit is not a massive commitment, nor is it an irrevocable commitment. Your curiosity about this book may not have been a coincidence after all – it could have been a gentle nudge from Spirit that will broaden and deepen this space for you and bring closure, peace and assurance to help you navigate the world.
Not only that, it’s important to know why you are here in this world and who sent you. This is where we come to the higher self.
List three ‘coincidences’ that have happened in your life (or that you know of); things you can’t explain that seem miraculous. Then, start thinking about the other possibilities behind those events. Next, write down a few recent moments when you have felt connected to a higher force, and note how you felt in those moments – for example, peaceful, not alone, grounded.
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