> Skip to content
  • Published: 25 March 2025
  • ISBN: 9780241719886
  • Imprint: Penguin General UK
  • Format: Trade Paperback
  • Pages: 304
  • RRP: $36.99

The Next Conversation

Argue Less, Talk More

Extract

Not long after uploading my first video, I started to receive messages—thousands of them. So many that there was no way I could read, let alone respond to, all of them. The messages were from followers of my content asking me for advice.

They weren’t asking for my guidance on big philosophical questions about religion or politics, or even legal stuff. They wanted my advice on the day-to-day, micro moments about real things that real people struggle with, everything from mundane issues to stories that’ll rip your heart out.

  • What do I say to a superior who always puts down my ideas?
  • What do I say to my adult daughter who I haven’t seen in years?

What do I say to my partner, who always has to be right?

After thousands of messages like these, the one thing I’ve learned is that no matter how they frame the question, their problem isn’t what to say—it’s how to say it.

Whenever I get one of these questions, the first thing I ask is what my parents always asked me: “Well, what do you want them to know?” So far, I’ve never received back, “I don’t know.” I always get a quick answer. People already know what they want to say, because deep down, it’s a reflection of what they’re already feeling: I want them to know it hurts me. I want them to know I need space. I want them to know why I’m upset. The feelings reveal themselves naturally. But articulating those feelings to another person? Not so easy.

It’s deflating, really, how something so simple can feel so out of reach.

If you picked up this book, chances are you’re reaching for the same thing: real solutions for real problems. You don’t need the what, you need the how. How do you express yourself in a way that respects both your perspective and the perspective of the other person? How do you stand up for yourself without losing the relationship? How do you voice your thoughts with authenticity and empathy but still show that you have a backbone?

The easy answer you’re looking for is connection. The more honest answer you deserve is in the pages that lie ahead.


Why I Wrote This Book

I wrote this book for three reasons:

  1. Because my social media followers asked for it. To me, it’s their book.
  2. To teach you what I know that will improve your next conversation.
  3. To preserve a piece of me for my kids and my family.

Before you crack into it, I need you to understand something important. The communication skills in this book aren’t borrowed principles. Outside of a few studies and commentary from other scientific fields—psychology, neuroscience, behavioral science—you won’t be seeing many sources. What you’re about to read is knowledge collected from my life experiences and how I communicate.

I am not a therapist. I am not a psychologist. If anything I say in this book somehow conflicts in some way with one of these specialists, believe them over me. I’m not going to ask you to identify your attachment style or encourage you to take a quiz to find out which conflict personality you have. If you’re looking to take a deep dive into the latest statistics or a case study about how the social dynamic patterns of bees can help you communicate, I’m not the guy for you.

What I’ve written are lessons from my daily grind in the real-world trenches of arguments, disagreements, heated debates, and difficult conversations.

What I offer is down-to-earth, homegrown advice outside of the textbooks and lectures.

And maybe that’s just what more of the world needs.


The Next Conversation Jefferson Fisher

MAKE YOUR NEXT CONVERSATION THE ONE THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING

Buy now
Buy now

More extracts

See all
Authentic

At school, I felt constantly uncomfortable in my skin.

Money Diaries with She’s on the Money

This money diarist recently quit a toxic but well-paying tech job to run a small property business with her dad.

Show Up

For most people, it’s not easy figuring out what to do with your life, let alone how to turn your passion into a lifestyle.

Supercommunicators

If there was one thing everyone knew about Felix Sigala, it was that he was easy to talk to.

The Myth of Normal

In the most health-obsessed society ever, all is not well.

Fifteen Seconds of Brave

I initially considered writing a book about resilience for personal reasons.

POWER

Women today have more opportunities than our mothers and grandmothers ever had, and yet the societal structures we must navigate to claim and own some of these opportunities can still lead us to question our abilities and our power.

Finding Calm

ecades of research overwhelmingly shows that the number one factor that helps us adapt to challenging circumstances is social support.

The Power of Fun

When is the last time you had fun? I’m serious. Think about it.

She’s on the Money: The award-winning #1 finance bestseller

Hello, I’m so glad you’ve picked up my book.

Undisruptable

Business. Read the textbooks and you’re in no doubt that it’s a sensible career of deep dullness.