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A hilarious compendium of the best Essex-themed jokes around

WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings Essex

Forget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jell is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more.

How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad?
There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen.

What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe?
Last year’s hide-and-seek champion.

What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?
An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels.

An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says.
‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says.
‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl.
The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’

Formats & editions

  • Paperback


    September 15, 2012

    Virgin Books

    192 pages

    RRP $14.99

    Online retailers

    • Amazon
    • Angus & Robertson Bookworld
    • Booktopia
    • Dymocks
    • Abbey's Bookshop
    • Boomerang Books
    • Collins Booksellers
    • Books Kinokuniya
    • QBD
    • Readings
    • Robinsons Bookshop
    • The Nile

    Find your local bookstore at booksellers.org.au

  • EBook


    September 13, 2012

    Virgin Digital

    192 pages

    Online retailers

    • Amazon Kindle AU
    • iBooks
    • Google Play EBook AU
    • Kobo Ebook
    • Booktopia
    • eBooks