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About the book
  • Published: 15 June 2013
  • ISBN: 9780091950156
  • Imprint: Ebury Press
  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 352
  • RRP: $32.99

If Only I Had Told




The truth about Orkney’s satanic ritualistic sex abuse, from a girl at the centre of the controversy

On 27 February 1991 social workers snatched nine children from four families, on a tiny Orkney island, amid allegations of a satanic sex abuse circle. Those false allegations had been made by my younger brothers and sisters. It wasn’t their fault. They didn’t stand a chance …

In 1986, Esther’s dad was arrested for violently abusing his 15 children. Suddenly Esther and her siblings were free. At 14, Esther thought her life could begin at last.

Instead she was abused again. ‘Who would believe the word of an abused girl over a care worker?’ he told her, and Esther believed him. Her failed suicide attempt meant those in charge took notice, but they came to some very wrong conclusions. And then things went from bad to much, much worse …

Finally able to tell her story, this is Esther’s very personal, brave memoir. It is a shocking true account of how two very bad men and a flawed system let a whole community down.

  • Pub date: 15 June 2013
  • ISBN: 9780091950156
  • Imprint: Ebury Press
  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 352
  • RRP: $32.99

About the Author

Esther W.

Esther W. spent much of her childhood growing up on South Ronaldsay in Orkney, where her father was convicted of physical and sexual abuse. Today, Esther has a BA in Design and lives in the West Midlands. Her website and blog is survivormum.com, where she charts the day to day demands of being a mother to two wonderful and very active boys while breaking the chains of her past.


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