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  • Published: 3 June 2025
  • ISBN: 9780857506818
  • Imprint: Bantam Press
  • Format: Trade Paperback
  • Pages: 368
  • RRP: $36.99
Categories:

How to Be The Grown-Up

Why Good Parenting Starts with You





From toilet training to tantrums, from mealtimes to meltdowns, a revolutionary guide from the Dr Julie Smith of child psychology.

INSTANT SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

‘Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but if it did, it would be this one.’ Myleene Klass

‘Brilliant … Dr Martha has guidance for almost every sticky moment.’ i Paper

Drawing on her years of experience as a clinical psychologist, Dr Martha understands the questions all parents face:

  • How can I make my child listen to me?
  • How can I stop a tantrum in its tracks?
  • What can I do when my child feels sad?
  • Why is my child a picky eater and what can I do about it?
  • What should I do when I lose my temper?

With humour, boundless energy, wit and warmth, Dr Martha tackles it all; from how to talk about honesty and lies, death, co-parenting, consent, gender, attachment, boundaries, and tantrums, as well as the small but critical daily challenges parents face. She explains why beneath each dilemma, it's the behaviours and scripts we learned as children that shape the parents we become.

This deceptively simple and always empathetic guide is a must-have toolkit for parents or any grown-up interested in what makes a healthy, happy, confident parent and child.

‘Martha is my go-to expert for parenting. This book is full of real-life examples, lived experiences, useful strategies and so much reassurance.’ Charlotte Stirling-Reed, bestselling author of How to Wean Your Baby

  • Published: 3 June 2025
  • ISBN: 9780857506818
  • Imprint: Bantam Press
  • Format: Trade Paperback
  • Pages: 368
  • RRP: $36.99
Categories:

About the author

Martha Deiros Collado

Dr Martha Deiros Collado is @dr.martha.psychologist. She has created a hugely successful social media platform sharing connection over control in parenting, based on nearly two decades as a clinical psychologist. She has met with 1000s of families in therapy over the course of her career working in paediatric medical teams within the NHS. Over time, her work has changed and adapted, influenced by new scientific developments alongside her learnings from clinical experience she manages to deftly mix scientific knowledge with practical application. Martha has been shaped by an international background, a multi-cultural upbringing and her coming into motherhood.

Praise for How to Be The Grown-Up

Down to earth, anchored in compassion and completely do-able, Dr Martha gives real answers to all the questions every parent wants to know.

Suzy Reading, chartered psychologist, author of Stand Tall Like a Mountain

Martha is my go-to expert for parenting. This book is full of real life examples, lived experiences, useful strategies and so much reassurance

Charlotte Stirling-Reed, bestselling author of How to Wean Your Baby

A wonderful and compassionate resource based on sound evidence. I would be recommending this to parents lots when I worked with children.

Emma Hepburn, clinical psychologist and author of A Toolkit for Modern Life

‘A must-read… written in a supportive, non-judgemental tone which encourages the reader not to give up. I would highly recommend this book to anyone trying to navigate parenthood – through love, patience and dedication.’

Dr Aziza Sesay @talkswithdrsesay

Will help you truly understand your child’s behaviours, and rethink your own too… This book will change how you parent for the better.

Nichola Ludlam-Raine, Registered Dietitian, @mummynutrition

This book is an essential guide for all parents. Empowering, empathetic and educational. It has helped me to think more deeply about my own parenting, and understand myself better.

Clare Bourne, author of Strong Foundations

Grateful to have this on my bookshelf. I’ll be using it for years to come.

Dr Faye Begeti @the_brain_doctor

Martha has a magic way of connecting to the parent, I felt like she was speaking directly to me throughout. She addresses many of the most daunting and overwhelming challenges of parenting and dilutes them with her wonderful understanding and strategies. This is a book I will refer to again and again.

Carla Freeman

Oh the times I’ve looked around for a ‘real adult’ to tell me how to parent! In this warm, powerful book, Dr Martha is exactly that compassionate, confident voice that we all need. Dr Martha supports us in exploring the narratives we learnt within our own childhood, and gently challenges them so that we can feel empowered and equipped to raise confident children…as confident parents. This book needs to take a firm place on the bedside table of every parent. It will powerfully shape the ways we parent our children… and ourselves. Step away from Googling for parenting tips and step towards Dr Martha’s words. The warm, confident guidance all parents crave.

Anna Mathur, bestselling author of Mind Over Mother

This is a helpful and supportive guide that encourages and facilitates self-reflection, and offers detailed, practical help with parenting.

Juno

Focuses on how you can be the best mother or father, by ditching tired family scripts, respecting your child for who and where they are, and controlling your own behaviour.

Psychologies

Brilliant ... From taming tantrums to why tears matter, making mistakes and managing your child's disappointment, all the way through to talking to children about sex, war and mobile phone use, Dr Martha has guidance for almost every sticky moment.

The i Paper

The scripts and behaviours we learned ourselves as children are bound to make certain areas feel tricky and her calm, no-nonsense advice is a soothing antidote to self blame.

The Psychologist
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