But What Will People Say?
Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures
A personal, paradigm-shifting book from therapist, writer, and founder of @browngirltherapy that offers a fresh approach to therapy and self-care with advice that caters to multi-cultural readers' needs
Growing up in the USA as a child of South-Asian immigrants, Sahaj straddled multiple cultures. While reading self-help and going to therapy helped her make sense of the world and her psyche, she soon realised that the advice of white, western writers didn’t cater to her experience. Unlike the outside world, at home the idea of mental health was feared as a sign of weakness, often met with the question ‘But what will people say?’ And for many like her who are navigating two cultures at once, the traditional advice to just ‘set boundaries’ or ‘put yourself first’ is not possible, or even safe.
Since then, Sahaj has made it her mission to make therapeutic advice accessible and inclusive of the multicultural experience. Combining her personal story with research, insights from her personal and online communities, and practical advice, this book is a much-needed and revolutionary approach that enables multicultural people to show more compassion for themselves, for others and, above all, feel seen.
Praise for But What Will People Say?
'Sahaj writes with great insight, clarity, and an uncommon grace and warmth [...] this book approaches with nuance (and love) the complex and multi-dimensional challenges and blessings, heartaches and joys that we go through as we grow into ourselves'Farnoosh Torabi, author of 'A Healthy State of Panic'
'With radical honesty and empathy, Sahaj breaks the traditional self-care model for community care, returning us to true belonging rooted in love'Valarie Kaur, bestselling author of 'See No Stranger'
'Sahaj Kaur Kohli [...] compassionately shares her own story, and guides readers through the nuances and pain of assimilation, individuation, and mental health'Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, author of 'It’s Not You: Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic People', Professor Emerita of Psychology, California State University, Los Angeles
'Sahaj writes with compassion and expert authority, guiding us along a path to honor where we come from, our communities, and ourselves. A heartfelt, thought-provoking, and deeply tender book that I will carry with me for the rest of my life'Sarafina Nance, author of 'Starstruck'
'This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate'Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of 'I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter'
'For children of immigrants looking to do the intergenerational work of healing, decolonization, and collective liberation, this book is a must read'Layla F. Saad, New York Times bestselling author of Me and White Supremacy
'It bridges gaps where Western mental health drops the ball. It is accessible, truthful and healing -- what we need to decolonize our therapies and address our people's historical trauma'Dr. Jennifer Mullan, author of Decolonizing Therapy
A deeply personal, delicate yet decisive guide to navigating mental health. The cross section between culture, psychology and the individual is fascinatingDr Saliha Mahmood Ahmed, Masterchef winner and author of Kazana
Much-needed and beautifully-written, I loved this bookEmma Reed Turrell, psychotherapist and author of What am I Missing?
This touching, refreshing and insightful book is so needed! I congratulate Sahaj for sharing her own journey and struggles with our culture and values, that me and so many will relate to. She provides guidance, compassion and essential change that will heal and transform lives. This is a must-read for any child of immigrantsLavina Mehta MBE, author of The Feel Good Fix