Boris Johnson: The Neverending Tory

BEWARE and WARNING!

This book is different to other books.

There are dangers, choices, adventures and consequences.

But you are different to other people. And it will mainly be other people dealing with the consequences of your choices.

YOU must use your numerous talents: buffoonery, polygamy, bogus self-deprecation, limitless ambition, an artfully distressed wardrobe and a Wikipedia page of classical references you half-remember from Balliol, Oxford. The wrong decision could end in disaster - even death. Or worse, political death. But don't despair. At any time YOU can go back and make another choice, alter the path of your story, and change its result.

YOUR quest will be a difficult one. But it is a noble one, too. Like the Siege of Dolorous Guard. Or the Quest for the Holy Grail: a new donor to fund a £150k treehouse at the short-lived Camelot that was Chequers.

A story of great love(s): a smattering of Ludus; more Eros than you can shake a pole-dancer at.

You are about to embark on a lifelong quest. A quest to become World King, a position so important that you will have to invent it first.