The Other Child

FINDINGS INTO DEATH WITHOUT INQUEST [cont.]

Deceased: Baby BD

Cause of death: 1a: DROWNING

CIRCUMSTANCES IN WHICH THE DEATH OCCURRED (cont.)

11. Both LD and AD were aware that the pool gate had been faulty for some years. The gate had been earmarked for repair; however, this had not occurred prior to the time of BD’s death. LD recalls securing the pool gate closed with a heavy pot plant upon exiting the pool enclosure on the morning of BD’s death, as was their common practice. LD believed she had closed the back sliding door upon returning inside the house.

12. LD had been experiencing difficulty with insomnia leading up to the day of BD’s death. LD was unable to definitively confirm that she had taken mirtazapine the morning of BD’s death; however, she confirmed that she had previously taken a mirtazapine tablet on several mornings when she had been unable to sleep the night prior and that it was possible she had done so on this occasion. A mirtazapine blister pack was noted by police on the kitchen bench beside a glass of water, and a blood test subsequently confirmed the presence of mirtazapine in LD’s and BD’s bloodstreams.

13. LD gave BD lunch followed by a breastfeed at approximately 12 noon, then placed BD in his cot in his bedroom at the front of the house for his lunchtime nap at about 12.30 p.m. LD lay down on the couch and fell asleep. BD’s lunchtime naps were usually of 1–2 hours duration.

14. On waking at 3.30 p.m., LD entered BD’s bedroom and noted that he was no longer in his cot. LD reported that BD had been able to self-extricate from his cot for a period of approximately four weeks prior to his death.

15. LD checked through the house and noted that the back sliding door was open, offering direct access from the house to the pool enclosure. AD reported that he and LD were in the habit of leaving the back door open on hot days for the breeze; however, they were always careful to supervise BD at these times as there is direct access to the street via the side of the house.

16. LD reported that she found the pool gate wide open when she entered the pool enclosure. It was subsequently noted by police attending the scene that the gate had been propped ajar with a pot plant. Both AD and LD were unaware of how the pot plant came to be in the position of propping the gate open, rather than its usual position of securing the gate closed.

17. When LD entered the pool enclosure, she saw a shape at the bottom of the pool and jumped into the water, retrieving a body and identifying it as her son BD. She subsequently commenced CPR, calling emergency services at 3.45 p.m.

SIX DAYS EARLIER

‘Hey, Alex, seen my work badge?’ I call to my husband as I fumble in vain through the oversized handbag that doubles as my work bag.

‘Try the nursery.’ His voice echoes down the hall. ‘I’ll check the car.’

My mobile vibrates in my pocket. Caesarean, category 3. Not an emergency, but the sooner I get to work, the sooner we can get the operation started.

I hurry into Charlotte’s room. The décor is minimalist in style, with sparse beige furniture and few decorative features, so it only takes a moment to scan all the surfaces. No sign of my badge. I rush through our bedroom, the living room and the kitchen to the back of the house. My study, in contrast to the nursery, is cluttered with an eclectic mix of objects stretching far into my past: the wooden knick-knack box from travels in Thailand, my trophy from Under 10s athletics, a leadlight candleholder that was a 21st birthday present from a friend. There’s no sign of my work badge in here, either. Dammit.

I rush to the front door, then pause as I see Alex speaking to our next-door neighbour. He’s at the chest-high hedge separating our houses, his arms gesticulating wildly. My throat tightens. I do not want to engage with her right now.

Instead, I step back into the nursery beside the front door.

On the floor, spread out on a cot mattress, Charlotte is playing with her hands. Her wide baby-blue eyes, framed by her silky brown hair, meet mine, and I melt.

The front door closes with a clang. From behind, Alex taps my shoulder. I turn, and he’s holding my work badge up to my face.

‘Where was it?’

‘Passenger seat.’

‘Thanks,’ I reply. ‘What’s with the neighbour?’

‘Karla?’ He shakes his head. ‘She was trying to give me parenting advice. I couldn’t believe it.’

‘What did you tell her?’

‘I told her where to go, of course.’ He kisses my forehead.‘First week back is always rough. Anything else I can do to help?’

My eyes fix on Charlotte. ‘Do you think she knows when I’m not here?’

‘She sleeps most of the day,’ he says, ‘and then, by the time she wakes for her evening feed, you’re home again. Try not to worry. I’ve got this.’

My mind flicks back through the past twelve weeks – his adoration of Charlotte, his diligent care of her. Yes, he’s got this.

My phone vibrates again in my pocket. I tug it out. Caesarean, category 2. Is this a second operation, or has the previous one just been upgraded? Either way, I can’t justify being late.

‘Gotta go.’ I give Alex a swift peck on the lips, then kneel down beside Charlotte and kiss her forehead. ‘Be good for your daddy, baby girl.’

I survey the familiar scene: the neatly placed designer nursery furniture, Alex with a reassuring smile on his face as he stands tall beside the doorframe that still bears the faint notchings of his childhood growth, Charlotte cooing excitedly on the mattress at my feet. Everything is as it should be. So how, then, am I to make sense of the trepidation I’m feeling?

Alex places a soothing hand on my shoulder. ‘I totally get it, babe. It was always going to be hard for you going back to work and leaving her with me. Separation anxiety is a real thing. But, please, trust me. I promise everything will be all right.’

My mouth clamps shut. It’s hard not to imagine the million ways things could go wrong.

My phone beeps with another message from my registrar, Devan. How far away are you?

I look down to text him back. Be there in 15, okay?

Perfect, he replies almost immediately. The category 3’s been upgraded.

I grab my bag. ‘You’ll call me straight away if there are any issues at all?’

His eyes crease with concern. ‘Of course I will.’

The words are a balm to the ache inside me. I step back and kneel beside Charlotte, rub her baby-soft hair.

‘Bye, darling girl. Mummy’s going to work.’ Charlotte’s eyes are bright as they meet mine. I turn to Alex. ‘I trust you. Really I do.’

‘I’m glad,’ he says. ‘You know you can always count on me.’