Bloom

Standing in front of 50,000 screaming fans, I just wanted to soak up the moment – it wasn’t that long ago that I thought I wouldn’t be here.

I was playing the best football of my life, having so much fun, but only I knew exactly why. There are so many moments in your life you enjoy sharing with others, but no one knows you like you know yourself. No one has done your journey the way you’ve done it. Being able to tell myself that – to have that voice in my head – has really helped me a lot.

The most fulfilling part about the way I was feeling right then was that it had come from a decision I’d made just a few months earlier. All these good things – playing in a home World Cup, performing well on the pitch, forming strong new friendships – had come from my decision to make myself a priority.

I had become a stronger version of myself and felt so much lighter about everything. I almost felt invincible. I knew that I would be able to get myself through anything. It was a really empowering experience. The loneliness was challenging, but it did make me realise that, even when no one was around, I would still be okay. No matter what, I would always have myself to keep me company.

When I looked up into the night sky and felt the pull of nature that lives inside of me, I couldn’t help but smile. Breathing in and out, my heart full of pride, I told myself: ‘You are here. You are alive. It’s so nice that you stayed.’