My name is Ethel Chop, and many things concern me: unemployment, incorrect bus timetables, and the fact that today's youth are all lazy and stupid. This generous collection of wisdom from Ethel Chop offers more advice than you'll ever need on 'how to live new age without turning into a loopdeloo nutbag.' Learn how to: Look smart in neck-to-knee polyester: 'I not only look beaut, but I'm warm as toast, so I never get sick and I never get sick thoughts.'Cook meals on a tight budget: roadkill and riceBox ears with two tins of beetrootThrow a great party: always strain your gherkins.
Ethel Chop was born some time last century. Or perhaps the century before. She can't remember. Her wisdom and no-nonsense attitude to life was born from living through two wars and the depression. Even now she can whip up a tasty stew from a pigs ear and a truck tyre quicker than she can say "All teenagers should be shot." Ethel's late husband Reginald Horace Chop went to war in 1939 and came back an amputee, which Ethel believes should be a warning to anyone thinking of taking an international holiday.
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