> Skip to content

The truly indispensable guide to surviving a clown attack

I'm every nightmare you've ever had. I am your worst dream come true! I am everything you ever were afraid of!
Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and they're coming for your valuables, your children and your sanity. But fear not, herein these pages is a proven four-step system to provide you with the knowledge you need to protect yourself: ASSESS, ANALYSE, DEFEND, PROTECT.

From instructions on how to defeat a clown in close combat and tips for spotting the plainclothes clown, to tutorials for fully clown-proofing your home against these painted and bewigged warriors, Chuck Sambuchino delves into the terrifying clown underworld to teach you what to do when clowns attack... because it's only a matter of time before they do.

Formats & editions

  • Hardback

    9781785036293

    September 15, 2017

    Ebury Press

    136 pages

    RRP $24.99

    Online retailers

    • Abbey's Bookshop
    • Angus & Robertson Bookworld
    • Booktopia
    • Boomerang Books
    • Collins Booksellers
    • Dymocks
    • Books Kinokuniya
    • The Nile
    • QBD
    • Readings
    • Robinsons Bookshop
    Or

    Find your local bookstore at booksellers.org.au

Also by Chuck Sambuchino

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

Recommendations

Best Laid Plans
The Road to Little Dribbling
The Amazing Book is Not on Fire
Shit Happens!
The Twits
Book With No Pictures
Everything I Need To Know I Learned From A Little Golden Book
How to Stay Alive
Fishbowl
So, Anyway...
Dad Is Fat
Meeting Of Minds
Wordwatching
The Unexpected Truth About Animals
Cats Getting Stuck!
The Keys
70s Dinner Party
From Frazzled to Fabulous
Spoon's Carpets
The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary