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What do you do when your husband claims to be madly in love with you, but doesn’t desire you sexually? When your therapist is more interested in opening an online sex-toy shop with your husband than in saving your marriage? Do you try yet another counsellor, get divorced or settle for a sexless marriage?
Lee Kofman, rebellious daughter of ultra-orthodox Jews, has always sought her own way. True to her Bohemian dream where love can coexist with sexual freedom, she decided to experiment with an open marriage . . . despite the fact that her previous non-monogamous relationship ended in disaster.
Our cultural mores suggest that love without monogamy is impossible, but Lee hoped she could do better the second time round and embarked on a personal exploration to find out whether she could save her marriage while being non-monogamous in an ethical way. For several months she talked to swingers, polyamorists, cross-dressers, suburban families, artists and migrants—in short, to anyone who has ever been involved in an unconventional relationship.
Set during Lee's first years in Australia, it is also the story of migration, and an exploration of the eternal conflict between our desire for security, but also for foreign places—in love and elsewhere. The Dangerous Bride tells the story of her quest.


Tender and challenging, The Dangerous Bride strikes an exquisite balance between the investigative and the deeply personal that typifies the very best memoir writing.


Kofman's book is flushed with her fearless lovely writing, her questing curious energy, the true full feeling of a truly fulfilling memoir. She writes of non-monogamy and infatuation as if they're what everyone should study, but the descriptions by a newcomer to Australia are another kind of love story here. Strikingly candid and candidly engrossing. I need Kofman to be my next new best friend.

Kate Holden

The Dangerous Bride invites the voyeur in all of us to come out and be counted.

Claire Scobie, The Sydney Morning Herald

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Formats & editions

  • Paperback


    October 1, 2014

    Melbourne University Press

    272 pages

    RRP $29.99

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    Find your local bookstore at booksellers.org.au

  • EBook


    October 1, 2014

    Melbourne University Press Digital

    340 pages

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